When everything is for fun...
Making friends is a way of getting to know more people, the girls say. And so keeping on changing friends, for them means continuing knowing more people. What do the boys say?

After SPM, it's impossible my girlfriend from Form Four is still with me, my little friend told me.

So, why have a girlfriend then?

For fun only. When there's no more fun, friendships end.

Oh my, is that your idea on friendships?

Well, everybody's doing that. It's the trend. I just follow.

For fashion, yes, we follow the trend. but for the right attitude towards making friends, can we follow the trend? When you find her no fun, you can say goodbye. Does that also mean when she finds you no longer attractive, she drops you?


So, would you feel depressed after you have been dumped?

If she's my first girl, of course, I will.

Now, the same way, if you are her first boyfriend, she'll be hurt after you dumped her. If you're her don't-know-what-number boyfriend, she won't mind. Correct?

Logically yes.

If the truthful girl knew that your wanting a girlfriend was purely for the fun of it, she will have no way of knowing how many girlfriends you have before her.

So, before you make friends, you people already know that when there's no more fun, you will end the friendship. As such, does true friendship exist at all? While there's no sincerity at the beginning, there's also no direct, open and honest approach to the friendship. You are ever ready to drop her or vice versa on the slightest displeasure. Is there any value in such friendships? You make friends with a can't-care-less attitude. Can you be certain that all your girlfriends also have the same attitude?

Among the girls the norm is making friends is a way of getting to know more people. When they keep changing friends, they keep getting to know more.

But do all the girls share the same thinking? 100%?

Of course not.

So, if in the first place you make friends with playing games in mind while the girls is genuine, wouldn't you be considered insincere even from the start? You young people for always talk about being fair minded, how come your attitude for making friends is so unfair and superficial?

If you're truthful and the girl isn't, it's still unfair. The same also applies when the opposite happens. If both sides aren't truthful, what kind of friendships are you sharing?

The basic requirement for friendships, whether between the opposite or same sex is truthfulness and trust. Without both you needn't say you are making friends. It's more appropriate to say you are looking for temporary playmates. the question is at this day and age, you might be the girl's No. 10. Do you still fancy this kind of playmate?

So, I should look for the honest and sincere one?

However, if the truthful girl knew that your wanting a girlfriend was purely for the fun of it, she will have no way of knowing how many girlfriends you had had before her and changing partners frequently is not her thing. That way, do you think she will go deeper into the friendship with you?

And so, since your aim is for fun only, I'm afraid you will find friends among your own kind. Or else you would end up cheating the other side and thus hurt her. or you get hurt because the other side cheats you. Or you stay put, keep on cheating on each other.

As humans most of us can and are often capable of warm feelings. We can make more friends but it's not right to hurt them. We need to be sincere, truthful, trustworthy, honest and real in order to successfully relate to people.

Courtesy of NST, August 6, 2008. Written by Christine Vu.